EBZwrites: Dear Diary [Leitmotif]
Aug. 26th, 2012 01:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
misskarin_ebz[OOC: Sooo... hmm, enjoy? And the music is http://youtu.be/4uc7lVGR3Nw and yes I do think it fits even if no one else will :)]
Dear Diary
What have I become? Who am I now, and where am I headed? Where did she go, the young passionate lady I once was. Did she die that night? The night when everything was lost. The night vengeance could not stop the very gods from turning their back on us. The night when my strength wasn’t enough for you, when I let you down. When your weakness killed the beauty we shared.
Did you not murder me as well? His crime, but no my dear, you were the one who slayed me. And I wanted to hate you for it, but I could not. I loved you too much, I still do.
So am I not more than just a corpse? I still draw breath!
Don’t I still fight? Isn’t life still a battlefield? Have I not defeated armies off naysayers and evil men? Don’t I still bleed when their swords, knives and bullets pierce my skin? Would I not raise my shield and swing my blade for a just cause?
Am I not a warrior?
Doesn’t my music bring joy? Don’t I pour my very heart and soul into every performance? Isn’t my voice an instrument of pleasure? Doesn’t my violin obey my will? Can I not create greatness with my talent? Do the audience not beg for more each and every time?
Am I not an artist?
I am alive, and I wish to remain that way! I might not be the same as I was but I want to live, I’ve realised that, seeing what a disappointment death seems to be.
But what kind of life will it be? The drinking, the fighting, the bedchamber endeavours, all the things I do... will I ever conquer the pain? Will I ever be able to let go? Will I ever allow myself to go on?
I hope so.
Dear Diary
What have I become? Who am I now, and where am I headed? Where did she go, the young passionate lady I once was. Did she die that night? The night when everything was lost. The night vengeance could not stop the very gods from turning their back on us. The night when my strength wasn’t enough for you, when I let you down. When your weakness killed the beauty we shared.
Did you not murder me as well? His crime, but no my dear, you were the one who slayed me. And I wanted to hate you for it, but I could not. I loved you too much, I still do.
So am I not more than just a corpse? I still draw breath!
Don’t I still fight? Isn’t life still a battlefield? Have I not defeated armies off naysayers and evil men? Don’t I still bleed when their swords, knives and bullets pierce my skin? Would I not raise my shield and swing my blade for a just cause?
Am I not a warrior?
Doesn’t my music bring joy? Don’t I pour my very heart and soul into every performance? Isn’t my voice an instrument of pleasure? Doesn’t my violin obey my will? Can I not create greatness with my talent? Do the audience not beg for more each and every time?
Am I not an artist?
I am alive, and I wish to remain that way! I might not be the same as I was but I want to live, I’ve realised that, seeing what a disappointment death seems to be.
But what kind of life will it be? The drinking, the fighting, the bedchamber endeavours, all the things I do... will I ever conquer the pain? Will I ever be able to let go? Will I ever allow myself to go on?
I hope so.
