[OOC] How's my driving

[misskarin_ebz]

Comments, questions, suggestions, opinions, requests, criticism - feel free to bring it :D
Be as harsh as you like, if you like. No sugarcoating needed, but I do, of course, prefer kindness.

http://youtu.be/SxvkAzmdwXU

Comments

[irene-jenkins.livejournal.com]

You have improved so much, I can't even form words for it ♥ SERIOUSLY!!!!

[oliveclement.livejournal.com]

I am amazed by how far you've come! You were good when you came here, and now you're fantastic. Your characters have completely individual voices, manners, etc - your writing has evolved in awesome ways, and, as always, it's a pleasure playing with you.

[thefortepianist.livejournal.com]

Hi, Karin!! I would like to preface this by saying that I believe you are a genuine and kind person, and I appreciate your company every time I see you in the channel. I hope you'll find the following two pieces of constructive criticism helpful. If you would like to talk to me for ANYTHING, with or without regards to this post, you know that my communication lines are always open. :'D

Okay. *deep breath*


1. I find it personally difficult to write with Esse. It seems to me that he is more of an accessory to Karin than a complete person himself. I think what might be part of the problem is that he is written more as a trope than a well-rounded character. He adheres too closely to the idea of an innocent and guileless youth. I would love to see him grow without the cover of his wizened and experienced cousin.

This doesn't mean that tragedy must befall on him!!! Goodness knows the boy has been through enough. But I would like for you to find a way that will make him stronger and more independent. Perhaps if you set a goal for him, it will help give him a sense of direction?


2. It's possible that sometimes your actions are a little TOO dramatic...drama is fun, especially in the scene where Karin and Jenson catch a spirifer. But understand that there are consequences to your characters' actions, and sometimes such actions will alienate the characters around them. If this wasn't a community roleplay, then by all means, all speed ahead!!! But since you are writing with other characters, it would definitely be good to keep this regard in mind.


You are a fun writer, ESPECIALLY when you consider the fact that English is your second language. The aforementioned points are more like guidelines that I think would help build on your skills. I enjoy your company and your sweet, darling heart, and I love love LOVE that you are easy to speak to. I especially look forward to seeing what you will do with your characters, especially now that Esse is forced to stand on his own.

[misskarin_ebz]

Hello Nessa!

Thank you for your feedback. It's appreciated. I'm working on it XD <3

[thefortepianist.livejournal.com]

<3